Missing Home

michigan

Home = Michigan.

…Where all our family and friends are located.

We left Michigan in 2010 to pursue our future plans and grow our careers. We never regretted that decision. However, recently (last night-in fact), Bobby and I both broke down.

We miss home. A lot.

We miss our families. My sister. His sister. My mom. His dad. My brother. We miss everyone. Everyone who has an interest in Josie’s life-we miss. We want more for her than the busy world of Houston. It’s scary here. It’s ugly here.

We miss snow and cold.

It’s too hot here. Too hot to go outside and take a walk. The mosquitos are so bad I barely leave the house. I feel like a prisoner.

I want to be able to walk outside and breathe. I want to be able to take my baby for a walk in her stroller without a second thought about if I may get raped, robbed or chowed by a stray dog or mosquitos infected with some new crazy virus they are carrying this year.

I want Josie to see snow. Go sledding. Build a snowman. Or build an snow fort. I want her to see Christmas like the movies. Freeze her ass off on Halloween and to pick pumpkins at a pumpkin patch. I want her to have family gatherings. Christmas dinners. Thanksgiving dinners and grow up with her cousin Isaac. I want her to know her family.

It breaks my heart.

So last night, Bobby and I both broke down. Him and I are both very good at putting aside our feelings and emotions about pretty much everything. We let thing build up. Yet this time, they exploded. We both sat down and cried. Truth is: we needed it.

We’re stuck here. Unfortunately, for a while. And the thought of packing up and moving would only be a miracle of finding a better job in Michigan. Which we all know is damn near impossible. I’ll go anywhere. I’ll do anything. I can be a nurse pretty much anywhere I want. I embrace change. It doesn’t scare me. But it’s his career that is the foundation of what we have.

So I woke up again this morning feeling sick to my stomach. Feeling emotional. Feeling alone. Because I am tired of being here alone. I’m tired of acting like everything is okay. I’m tired of hiding in my house. I’m tired of the loneliness. And I’m tired of missing out on lost time. I miss my family. And I’d do anything to come home.

3 thoughts on “Missing Home

  1. Stacy I know exactlly how you and Bobby feel although we are not as far away as you are distance ways I feel the distance emotionally, but everything we do has a purpose and it builds us to be the person God wants us to be. So embrace those feeling and let them out, be all that you can, learn from your experiences and enjoy the here and now with Josie because she will grow so fast, and know that it is just a stepping stone on the path that God has lit for you. Have faith and know that the plan is bigger than we can see. God will bless your family. Love you!

  2. I’m so sorry you’re so far from your family:( I know the feeling- we lived in NC for 3 yrs with no family anywhere near us, and it was horrible. Michigan is a lot farther, and I can’t imagine how hard it must be. I hate Houston, and really most of Tx in general. Despite being born and raised her, I wish we could pack up an move somewhere else. All our family is here though. Anyway, I’m always here if you ever need someone to talk to or just vent to. My email is mrscarpenter0406@gmail.com .

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