While I didn’t really get out much after taking leave from work, I still had to go to the grocery store and run out to get a few things every so often. And when I did, I noticed (as my belly grew and grew), that people would hold doors for me (specifically males), stop their cars and let me walk across the street, smile at me, grin at me, head nod at me and just make me feel like a walking wonder. I’m such a people person that once someone got me talking I was overly excited to share our journey as new parents. “It’s a girl, our first child and her name is Josephine Rose.” I would say with extreme elation. I especially enjoyed talking with older women. Who usually have given birth to 3-4+ children in a decade where ultrasounds were unheard of. It’s amazing that their interest and love for children (even though theirs are grown with grown children of their own) continues. I’ve met some pretty amazing people along the way. Some have even made me promise to come back with Josie so they can meet her. I love that. I will miss this. And the appreciation and awe people have for pregnant women.
But there will be bigger things I will miss. Such as my growing belly. Watching my body change and no longer be “mine”. I will miss her kicks, her moves and her hiccups.
I love how when I think about her and say to myself “I haven’t felt you move in a little bit, Josie” she suddenly moves just enough to let me know she’s there. As if she can read my mind or she knows what I am thinking.
I love how I can feel her hiccups through her mouth below my belly button and her belly spasms in and out on the side of my abdomen. I just stare at it and watch it move up and down. Such an amazing experience!
I love how I know she can hear me when I yell at the cats. It startles her just enough for her to give me a little nudge to remind me not to raise my voice like that. “Don’t yell, mom!”
I love that when I get up in the middle of the night to pee that she just falls or slides down, moves like crazy to get rearranged and comfortable and falls back asleep when I do.
I love how active she is after I eat breakfast, usually around 9:30am, where she will do what looks like somersaults in my belly.
I loved each and every anticipation of seeing her little face on the ultrasound and listening to her heart beat with my stethoscope.
And even loved the fact that I honestly haven’t felt better (intestinal-wise-given that I have celiac disease) since being pregnant.
I love that she helped me gain the fat that I have been trying to gain for months before I got pregnant. And I love that my anxiety and OCD took a hike (lets hope it stays that way).
I love that she made me appreciate my body, love my body and realize that I am beautiful. I am grateful for that.
I love being pregnant. Every single bit of it. Even the pains here and there and the acne that scarred my face. It was all worth it. And I would do it a million times over if I had to.
But I will never forget what helped me get through this all. Who was the only person in this small city we live in that I could call my safe zone. My husband. My rock. My best friend. My soul mate. I love watching my husband love her more and more, rub my belly and treat me like a queen every single day. Seriously, I don’t think he can love me anymore than he does. He’s perfect in every way. He gives me anything I want and will do just about anything to make sure that Josie’s room is ready and she and I both have everything we need before her arrival. I love the intense love, connection and friendship it has created between him and I. It’s different than before. And I know it will be different once she is really here, too. But I have no doubt in my mind that our love will continue to grow stronger year after year (which I never thought were possible).
I love how protective he is. How caring he is. How he is always asking me if I’m okay.
I love how he rubs my head to sleep every single night no matter how tired he is.
I love how when I put my feet up on the couch at night he just touches them without question and rubs them until I fall asleep. And I love how he won’t wake me until he’s cleaned up the table and filled up my water for me to set next to my side of the bed.
I love how we work as a team in almost everything we do. And he just does things without a second thought. Like change the cat litter, take out the trash or make me lunch on the weekends.
I love how he leans over to kiss me goodnight, every single night without a miss, even though he’s spent so much time getting comfortable with his 6 pillows.
I love his morning kisses goodbye and he coming home for lunch.
I love how he goes to every single doctors appointment.
I love how much he truly, really cares. How much interest he has. And how he knows which week I’m in (most men don’t care).
I love how he calls me beautiful. Every day.
I love how much he loves my pregnant body. So much so that he really wanted to capture it himself.
There is no better feeling in this world than love and knowing that you have someone to share life with. And I cannot express how excited we are to both feel that “different kind of love” that will overwhelm us once Josie gets here.
I will miss all these things and more. I will miss being pregnant.
But nothing will compare to the day we get to actually meet our girl for the very first time. We love her so much and she doesn’t even know it yet.
So as these last few weeks lead up to her arrival, I just wanted to reflect upon how lucky I feel, how blessed I feel and how thankful I am to have such a loving husband, who under any circumstance, loves me unconditionally as well as loves his daughter so immensely so that it makes me want to stay pregnant forever.
So here’s to 36 weeks of growth…physically, mentally and emotionally. It has been an amazing journey and we are ready to meet you Josie!
Here are some pictures of capturing the beauty of a pregnant body. I went in circles of whether to post these or not. But Bobby really loved them. And realistically, my body is no longer mine. So looking at these photos I really don’t feel like I’m showing you me. I’m showing you pregnancy. I do not feel self-conscious nor fat. I feel big, full and pregnant. It’s a beautiful thing…pregnancy. And every woman, no matter what shape or size should embrace it. It’s a miracle that a woman’s body can do such a thing.